Never Stop
by antoemati
Summary: A series of Ezria one-shots.
1. Pie

**My take on Ezria in 5x05 (written ****before**** the episode aired).**

Ezra was lying down on his couch, watching an old movie, a blanket covering his legs. His back still hurt from time to time, so did his legs, but he was starting to feel like everything in his body was getting back into place. All in all, he was holding up okay. He was getting better and better every passing day. He had to admit he owed it mostly to all the love and support he had been getting from the staff and students of Rosewood High. He had even received very compassionate messages from some of his students at Hollis wishing him a good recovery. It all touched him very much. That was probably why he was recovering so fast. There was nothing like social support his doctor had told him. He was immensely lucky to have so many people in his life that cared about him.

But Ezra's greatest blessing remained without contest Aria's presence in his life. He couldn't believe that she still talked to him, that she merely tolerated to be in the same room as him, that she was willing to include him in her life again. Or… was she? _Maybe it's just because of the accident… Maybe she feels guilty and her solicitude is in reality just the guilt talking. Once I recover, she'll probably –she'll…_ He shook his head, refusing to finish that thought.

He didn't want to think that much ahead. At the moment, Aria was there for him –she checked up on him regularly even though nothing obliged her to; she came to his apartment, called him –and perhaps more importantly, she was willing to let him be there for her too, and that was all that mattered. That was all he cared about.

Ezra realized he wasn't forgiven quite yet. To be completely honest, he wasn't even sure whether or not he deserved Aria's forgiveness, but he liked to think that she wasn't entirely over him yet, that he still had a chance. They were kind of in a strange place right now, but he was still hoping that they could work it out.

A knock at his door pulled him out of his thoughts. He carefully put his feet on the ground and stood up. He went to open the door only to reveal Aria standing behind it.

"Hey!" She exclaimed cheerfully.

No, he definitely could not live without that smile.

"Hi!" He greeted back, surprise but also enthusiasm dripping from his voice.

She smiled at him.

"Please! Come on in…" He said, stepping away so she could enter, which she did.

"Thanks."

Ezra closed the door and turned to her. He took in her appearance. She was wearing a leopard shirt with a black pair of jeans and boots. She looked beautiful… as always.

"I'm sorry for coming without calling. Don't worry, I –I'm not staying." Aria said.

"That's okay." He reassured her.

She nodded. "I brought you something." She handed Ezra the pastry box she was holding. "It's not much. Just some pie. It's the least I could do."

"Thank you." He acknowledged. "You didn't have to do that." He put down the box on the counter in the kitchen.

"Of course I did!" She opposed. "You take a bullet for me, help me get through PTSD, I bake you a pie. That's how it works." She replied causing Ezra to laugh.

She hadn't realized how much she missed that sound… how much she missed _him_. They had been spending some time together since the incident in New York, but it didn't quite feel like it used to. Whenever they were together, even when they were just trying to take their minds off everything, there was always that underlying tension between them, those… unspoken words. It was nerve-wracking. She missed their simpler times. So much. So much more than she should, more than was good for her. And she sort of hated herself for it. She shouldn't miss him, not at all, not after everything that he had _willingly, knowingly_ put her through. Yet, she couldn't help herself. It was the way it was.

After a moment, they both snapped out of their daze and were brought back to the present time.

"Anyway, how are you?" Aria inquired.

"I'm fine. I'm getting better." Ezra answered. "My help care professional is doing a great job. I limp less, my legs hurt less… so does my back."

"You do look better." She remarked with a small smile.

"Thank you."

Aria narrowed her eyes as she noticed something on the counter. "A 'get well soon' card? Who's it from?" She asked picking it up and turning it. "A kind student?"

"Actually, no, it's from my mother." He responded.

Her gaze instantly shifted to him at that. She widened her eyes at him. "From your mother?" She repeated. "Wait, that –this is it?" She asked showing the card. "A 'get well soon' card? That's all she could do? She couldn't fly here to make sure that you really are fine?" She got indignant.

"No, she wanted to, but I told her not to bother herself. I'm not sure her presence here and her judgmental looks would actually help me." He explained.

"Yeah, that seems like a wise decision. She probably wouldn't speed up your recovery."

"My thought exactly." Ezra replied, his lips curving into a sly grin.

"Come on, let's move to the couch." He suggested.

"How are you?" He asked her after sitting down. "How do you sleep? Is everything back to normal?" He interrogated.

Aria let out a laugh without humor. "You mean 'Am I still seeing Shana everywhere I look?'" She asked him back. He simply looked at her. "No, thank God, I'm not." She answered. "I still dream of her, but less frequently and it's nothing too bad." She shrugged.

He nodded. "That's good. I'm glad. You should really let go of the guilt."

"And you know what you're talking about, don't you?" She spat out.

He simply looked at her. They held each other's gaze for a moment until she dropped it and lowered her head. "I- I'm sorry. That wasn't fair." She recognized.

"Aria." Ezra called and she peeked up at him. "You have nothing to apologize for. I don't ever want to hear you say you're sorry again." He articulated. "You don't get to worry about being fair to me. And you're right: I do know what I'm talking about because I've been there."

She didn't say anything. She was satisfied with staring at him intently waiting for him to elaborate.

"Once you found out about the book, I felt so guilty." Ezra started. "Actually, you know what? Scratch that! The guilt started way before you found out." He corrected himself. "But once you knew, it went to a whole other level. I became overwhelmed by it, and I pretty much killed myself wondering how I could possibly make it up to you." He paused. "You know I really wish I could go back in time and everything would be different."

"You can't, Ezra." She interrupted him.

"I know." He held her gaze, intent on showing her how sincere he was. "But if I could… I would, and I need you to know that." He watched as his words sank in. "I never meant to hurt you. Ever. I acted like the world's greatest idiot and I am so sorry for that." He apologized.

She skirted her eyes from him. She couldn't face him when he talked like that. She just couldn't.

"I know Shana's dead. I know because…" The words got stuck in her throat. "…because I killed her. Yet, every time my phone buzzes, every time I find a suspicious note, I…" She sighed. "I get so paranoid. I keep waiting for that A message." She confided.

"That's completely understandable. A has been such a big part of your lives, and for so long… You girls have been living in fear for far too long. Now that she's gone, you can't really believe it, it's only natural." He tried to reassure her. "You don't know what it's like to live a normal life anymore."

"No." She spoke again, with a blank look on her face. "We don't."

"I'm sorry."

She looked back up at him. "Don't. If there's one thing that you really shouldn't apologize for, this is it. A was in our lives poisoning them way before you were anywhere near the picture." She told him. "You got us rid of A, Ezra. You got us rid of Shana." She paused and briefly looked away to collect her thoughts. "I know I never thanked you for that, but I am grateful." She said. "I just wish I didn't have to lose you in the process."

"You didn't lose me." He immediately corrected her. "I lost _you_, Aria, not the way around. And I deserved it. But you… didn't lose me. You will _never_ lose me. You could never. I will _always_ be there for you… if you let me." He finished.

/

"Oh my God, is this delicious or is this delicious?!" Aria exclaimed and Ezra laughed.

"It is. It really is" He agreed. "I had no idea you could cook like this." He went further, finishing the piece of pie he had in his mouth.

He added some whipped cream on the pie before having another piece. His eyes widened at the nameless taste. "Okay, this is exquisite. You need to taste this."

"Oh my God, you put whipped cream on it?!"

"Yeah, taste it. It's so good." He insisted, so Aria brought her mouth closer and he fed her the pie.

She moaned as her mouth closed on the food. "Oh my God, this is sin." She commented.

Ezra nodded. "Agreed."

"Oh my God." She leaned in to take another bite.

Ezra burst out laughing once she pulled the piece of pie away.

"What?!" She asked, a grin on her face as well.

"You have whipped cream all over your face." He told her.

"I do?" She asked, reaching for her mouth.

"You do." He confirmed and reached for her nose to remove some.

She giggled trying to wipe the cream away from her mouth. Seeing her struggle, Ezra reached out to help her. He moved his thumb along her upper lip. Only the look on Aria's face got him to realize what exactly it was that he was doing and he froze. He slid his hand along her face in an attempt to remove it, but Aria covered it with her own and kept it on the side on her face.

"Don't."

He stopped his motion and gazed at her. She stared back. She moved her face closer to his. Their eyes went back and forth between the others' eyes and their lips.

"Aria…" He breathed. He never got a chance to say more. She closed the distance between them by pressing her lips to his.

Ezra immediately responded and brought his hand to her back pulling her more to him.

God, he had missed feeling her lips moving in synchronization with his! He had missed the sensation of her fingertips on his skin. He had missed her wondrous scent, intoxicating him and clouding all his senses… He had missed it all.

Again, Aria made the first step by flicking her tongue across his upper lip seeking access. Ezra opened his mouth and gladly let her in.

She attempted to bring him down on the couch and he let out a whisper. "I'm sorry. Does this hurt?" She asked him. She had momentarily forgotten that the poor man was just recovering from a gunshot.

"I can handle it."

A mischievous smile grew on her face and she carefully straddled him and returned to her more or less gentle assault.

**Please leave a review.**


	2. The Conversation

**Set in 6x20. Basically what I would have liked to hear.**

Aria could barely believe it. She simply couldn't bring herself to believe it. She and Ezra had just made love, after nearly five years of separation. Yet, it felt like the last time had been yesterday. It all felt so familiar. Ezra's hard, muscular chest as it brushed against her breasts, the goosebumps trail on his skin at the touch of her fingertips, the way their bodies reacted to one another, how her walls stretched to accommodate his length as he filled her completely… Aria stirred involuntarily at that thought.

And that wasn't the best part. The intimacy she was experiencing right now was what Aria had craved the most she found: the warmth that radiated from Ezra and encompassed her, making her feel like nothing could touch her, the sound of his regular heartbeat that she could hear her head on his chest, his unique intoxicating scent invading her nostrils… It was difficult enough for Aria to maintain a normal conversation with him when there was a safe distance between them, but being so close to him and breathing his scent so intensely, it caused all rationality to elude her and she could no longer answer for anything.

Nothing had changed. It had been years, but it still felt the same.

She still felt the same.

The realization chilled her to the bone.

How had she managed to go on these last four years without his constant presence in her life? Had she just been pretending? Deluding herself into thinking she was over him? That they just weren't meant to be?

Aria lifted her head and chanced a look at Ezra's sleeping figure. A gentle smile tugged at the corner of her lips as she observed his peaceful-looking form, in complete contrast with the inner turmoil she was currently experiencing. She wasn't fooled by what she saw though –or perhaps, more accurately, by what she wanted to see. She knew the moment Ezra regained consciousness, he would feel instant regret and hate himself for what they'd done, not as much as she hated herself though, Aria thought grimly.

She was painfully aware of the fact that Ezra was still in love with Nicole. She was the love of his life. And Ezra was Aria's…

She felt tears well up in her eyes and repressed them, looking up at the ceiling. She refused to cry. She wouldn't fall apart, not in his presence. What kind of idiot did this to herself really? This had been a terrible mistake. All it had done was make her crave for Ezra even more than she already did. She closed her eyes and choked back a sob.

Aria extricated herself from Ezra's body, not being able to bear the pain of knowing this would never happen again anymore.

Feeling a sense of loss, Ezra stirred a little. His eyes slowly fluttered open, and Aria's back came into focus. Memories of what had just transpired between them came rushing to his mind unbidden, and he couldn't restrain the smile that spread across his face.

"What are you doing?" He called out to her, making her jump. He was quick to apologize. "Sorry, I didn't mean to startle you."

She spared him a glance. "That's ok." She finished attaching her bra, and then aimed to look for her chemise.

"What are you doing?" Ezra asked again.

"Getting dressed." Answered Aria flatly.

He had a moment's pause at her sudden coldness. What had just happened? "Don't you think we should talk?" he arched an eyebrow at her.

"About what?" she asked, faking oblivion, and continuing to look for her cloth –anything to distract herself from facing Ezra.

Ezra knit his brows together in confusion, unsure of what was going on. Less than an hour before, Aria was making very enthusiastic love to him, testifying to a passion and hunger he believed he'd been the only one to remember. She could not have been faking that. He knew her. Better than he knew himself, better than she knew herself, and this, in spite of all the time that had passed.

He couldn't quite put into words what it was that he had felt when they'd united intimately after what seemed like an eternity. It was beyond what mortal language could express. It defied all rationality. The only analogy Ezra could think of to describe his emotions was: it was as though he'd been walking in the desert forever, starving and dying of thirst, and finally, he had found an oasis –Aria –but a single draught wasn't enough to quench his thirst.

"Excuse me?" He asked her disbelievingly.

"What do you want to talk about, Ezra?"

"Uh, gee, let me think…" He summoned a pensive expression. "The fact that we just had inter-"

"God, where is my top?!" Aria complained in frustration as she still couldn't find her piece of clothing. If Ezra insisted on having this conversation, then she much preferred having it fully clothed. There was no way she would be able to control her urges if they remained in their current state of undress.

Ezra rolled his eyes and looked up at the ceiling and praying to whatever deity to give him the patience. He breathed deeply. "Aria, forget your chemise for a second. This is nothing I haven't seen before." He reminded her cheekily.

Aria threw him a sharp look before kneeling down to look under the bed. "Ah! There you are." She retrieved the cloth and passed it over her head.

"All good? You're dressed. Can we talk now?"

She put her short back on, not honoring him with an answer.

He signed. She was really intent on making this hard for me. "Aria, where are you going? Do you have somewhere to be?"

"As a matter of fact, yes, I do." She absolutely didn't, but she was not ready to talk to Ezra yet. She had to collect herself first, gather her thoughts, and figure out the best way to put some distance between them. At the moment, her emotions were still running pretty high, and she wasn't not in the right frame of mind to have this conversation. "I have to meet with Spencer."

Ezra narrowed his eyes at her skeptically. "Aria, do you even know where your phone is?"

She froze for a second, realizing that she in fact didn't.

"Not in this room." He supplied for her.

"I never said she called or texted me. We said we would meet." Aria challenged.

He rolled his eyes. God, could she be stubborn when she wanted to! "Spencer will wait." He stated, and Aria was taken aback –and yes, she had to admit it, slightly aroused –by the firmness in his voice.

He eyed her quizzically, taking a guess as to what was making her so eager to get out the door and escape him. "Are you feeling guilty about what we did? Because of Liam?"

She jerked her head in his direction then, answering him without meaning to.

"You hadn't even thought of him, had you?" he assumed correctly.

Aria was mortified to realize that indeed she had not all. She was without contest the worst girlfriend in the history of the world.

"Can you please sit?" Ezra demanded, and she surprisingly complied without balking. "Do you regret what happened?" asked Ezra cautiously, apprehension laced in his voice.

The words were at the tip of her tongue, but Ezra was looking at her so intently and earnestly that Aria couldn't bring herself to lie. "No." she answered, looking down, before she added, "But I know you do and…"

"Aria, do not put words in my mouth please." He cut her off. "Especially when you know they aren't true…"

She felt a burst of hope in her chest, but managed to keep her heartbeat regular. She looked up at him bashfully. "How would I know that?"

"Because you know me." He answered simply. "And I'm telling you."

They stared at each other in silence for a few seconds, both trying to read the other's thoughts and be reassured that what they were the feeling wasn't one-sided.

Aria finally broke the silence. "Ok, so neither of us regrets what happened"

"That's a relief."

"It still doesn't make it right."

"It felt pretty right to me." Ezra countered.

A thin smile touched her lips at the familiarity of his words. She remembered how he would always say that to her when she was having doubts about them, reminding her that he was her safe haven and that there was nothing like the two of them together.

It had definitely felt right. As always, it had felt perfect.

"Ezra, something feeling right and being right are two very different concepts. At some point, you're going to have to learn to that." volunteered Aria instructively.

"Why don't you teach me?" he suggested, raising a suggestive brow at her.

Aria frowned and narrowed her eyes at him in incomprehension. "How can you be so cavalier about this?" she wondered, dumbfounded.

"Aria, I'm not being –I don't take this lightly, ok? And frankly, even if I did, I think you're taking it seriously enough for the both of us."

She sighed and looked away. This was just so complicated.

"Listen, I don't regret what we did. You don't regret what we did. We both acknowledge that it felt right." He summarized tersely. Aria didn't deny any of those statements, but her expression told him they weren't quite on the same wavelength still. "What's bothering you so much?"

"You mean aside from the fact that I just cheated on my boyfriend?" Aria asked ruefully and gave Ezra a pointed look. The worst part was she barely felt guilty about that, and before Ezra mentioned him opportunely, Aria hadn't even thought of Liam. What kind of person was she? She wondered, disgusted with herself. "Well, there is the fact that I just slept with a man who is in love with another woman…"

Ezra looked at her intently and saw how pained she was by that thought although she was looking away and hiding a side of her face from him. He swallowed difficulty at the fact of inflicting Aria any pain, whether it was intentional or not.

He thought about what he could say to reassure her while remaining honest. This was a subject to thread with a lot of caution and consideration. The very last thing he wanted was to hurt Aria like he knew he had in the past.

"Aria…" he started, but she wouldn't let him finish his thought.

"No, Ezra, don't deny it, please. Do not." She begged achingly. You just wrote a whole book about how much you love her." 'And I just wrote pages about how much I lo –' she left that thought suspended in her mind.

"Did I?" Ezra mused out loud.

She frowned at that. "What?"

Ezra merely shook his head, dismissing the last thought that ran through his mind. "Never mind." He exhaled a sigh and locked eyes with Aria. "Aria, I was not going to deny what you said. I do love, Nicole. Truthfully, I probably always will. A part of her carries on within me. Our story… didn't end. There was no full stop. She was taken away from him. I didn't get a say; she didn't get a say." Ezra explained as calmly as he could, and Aria nodded, giving him the impression of understanding what he was saying. "But I do have to go on, and she would want me to. She would want me to be happy."

"Of course." Said Aria softly. "Of course she'd want you to be happy. So do I, Ezra." She confessed wistfully and reached out to touch his face, brushing a strand of hair away from his forehead. "It's all I ever wanted for you."

Ezra leaned into her touch and closed his eyes, his heart heaving a sigh full of love. He turned his head and pressed a kiss onto the palm of Aria's hand, making her gasp.

She abruptly removed her hand from his face as though she had been burned and chose to ignore the flash of hurt she saw pass through his eyes. "I just…"

"What?" pressed Ezra, desperate for her to just talk to him.

She shook her head in response. She was so scared that the words were stuck in her throat. She wouldn't bear to get her heart broken again –not by Ezra. She knew all too well what it felt like to lose him and… it was a feeling she never wanted to experience again. She wanted to think that they still had a chance, that they could still make it, but the circumstances were so familiar Aria couldn't shake her fears.

She painfully remembered how she and Ezra had gotten together the first time: he was trying to get over Jackie, and well, he was using her as an information source for his book. And although she wasn't worried about the latter at the moment, Aria couldn't help but notice how once again, she and Ezra came together as he was trying to get over another woman –in this case, Nicole.

"Aria, you are not my rebound, nor have you ever been." He assured, reading her thoughts. "My love story with Nicole didn't end, but I did get closure." Said Ezra urgently, holding her face fiercely and staring into her eyes intently. "You provided me with that closure." He continued emphatically. "Don't you realize what you've done? You've saved me. Once more. If it weren't for you, I'd still be spending my days, lounging around, drinking impossible amounts of alcohol." He told her, oozing gratitude. "And Aria, you could never be a rebound. Ever. You're Aria: my soul mate, the other half of me, the better half of me."

Aria looked down, her lips twisted in a grimace, deeply affected by his words but not wanting to show him how much.

Smiling lovingly at her, he gently cupped her chin and tilted her head up. "I've always tried to put you first, since the very beginning of our relationship." Ezra said truthfully. "I gave you up…" he continued, his voice cracking a little, and it tugged at Aria's heartstrings. "…because I thought that was what was best for you, and I regretted it so much, Aria." He confessed emphatically. "I cannot do that again. I don't have the strength to let you go again."

A tear escaped her eye at his heartfelt declaration, and she wiped it away with the back of her finger.

"Aria, when we made love earlier, I can't tell you what…" he paused, looking for the right words. For a writer, he suddenly had a lot of trouble putting words on what had been an ethereal experience. "I felt a sense of completeness and wholeness that I hadn't felt in such a long time. I was at peace."

Aria nodded. "I know what you mean." She really did. There had been a vast void in her heart these past four years where Ezra used to be, and she hadn't felt complete until moments earlier when he kissed her and made love to her, easing the ache in her heart.

"I want to be happy, Aria, and I want to make you happy. For once, I want –I need to be selfish with you." Said Ezra, an audible hint of desperation in his voice. "I want you. I want you to choose me over Liam." He cupped her face and leaned in. "I want us, Aria. I miss us."

Aria exhaled a sigh as she pressed her forehead against his. She closed her eyes tightly, hanging on to this dream she knew she was having, and holding Ezra's forearms. She finally opened her eyes and looked at him through her long lashes. "Are you sure?" her voice quavered despite her best efforts.

"Yes." Ezra answered with certitude, and that simple three-letters word filled Aria with incommensurable joy.

She smiled a wide, dazzling smile and burst into a fit of giggles, her eyes still brimming with tears. Ezra soon joined her, feeling utterly happy himself.

They still had a lot to work out, a lot of unpleasant conversations to have, but as long as they both acknowledged their feelings for one another and were willing to give their love story another chance, he knew they would be just fine.

**Please leave a comment with your thoughts, suggestions for another one-shot...**


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